April 11, 2007

MOVING DAY FOR THIS BLOG

Goodbye Sage Wisdom - Hello Everyday Bliss!

We're a'movin' in more ways than one. After multiple years at TypePad here, I am up and going on my own website. From this moment onward, you can now access updates to my brand-new "Everyday Bliss Blog" ONLY at:

http://maryamwebster.com/blog

I do hope you'll join me there! All of the archives have been transferred and you can still get to those old posts you loved back when. Many more opportunities for subscribing and syndication exist at the Everyday Bliss Blog too.

See you there!

Posted by Maryam on April 11, 2007 at 05:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 05, 2007

The Secret...Skeptical???

Secret_movie Still skeptical about the power of The Law of Attraction as taught in The Secret Movie?? Then get on the bus and TEST DRIVE "The Secret" with Andy Wibbels and I for the next 30 Days. You can rev up here:

http://secretskeptic.com

Check out Andy's MindMap of the Law of Attraction history here:
http://andywibbels.com/uploads/Image/secret_map.jpg

And be sure to listen to the "Getting The Secret" call Andy and I did last week:

 


MP3 File

People really loved the call as did we. Andy and I were overwhelmed with all the lovely comments folks made after the call. Here's what people are saying:

Wow, Andy. This was a great call. And I am now a HUGE Maryam Webster fan. She does a great job of straddling the woo-woo with the practical. And I’m so glad someone spoke to how the Law of Attraction isn’t just about getting stuff. It’s a path of deep personal unfoldment and enrichment. Congrats!

- Nancy Tierney  http://www.unconditionalconfidence.com/

This call was amazingly helpful! Thanks for opening the dialogue and for having Maryam on to give us a real how-to. I’ve been focusing on making my mental shifts since Halloween. This call really revved up my evolution! Thanks to you both!

- Lynn Ward  http://thrivingafter50.com


Posted by Maryam on March 5, 2007 at 01:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

February 05, 2007

The Power Of Flexibility

One of my students was having difficulty understanding the NLP and Energy Coaching presupposition: "The Element that is the most flexible is the element in control". This is my answer to her and to all of you who wonder about how to BE flexible and furthermore, why...

Think of the comparison between a willow tree and an iron bar. The iron bar is strong, by comparison the willow branch is much less so. If you pick a willow switch and hit someone with it it stings. (how many of you were "switched" as kids? once my gradeschool principle made use of a willow switch on my rear - but ONLY once!) A willow switch may even raise a welt. If you hit the same person with an iron bar, you will do greater damage, probably breaking their bones.

When you bend a willow switch, it will bend very far, but easily breaks. It's nearly impossible to bend an iron bar with your bare hands. You can do it with specialist tools, but if you're not careful, you can break it too.

Now lets extend that analogy even further. A tall building is built of iron bars. Much is made of the strength and durability of this building. It's job is to stand up and put up with the abuses humans can wreak on a structure. It does this job admirably for many years. But when a strong tornado or earthquake comes along, the building topples to the ground, its iron bars broken into shards. It did not control its destiny because it was not flexible enough.

But the willow tree, with its roots deep into the earth, bends, sways, is tormented by a storm's pummelling, but survives, relatively unscathed.

You see in this example that the iron was brittle, and didn't have flexibility. The willow tree bent with the forces trying to shift it and remained relatively unharmed. The willow tree had the most flexibility in this instance, and in essence, controlled what happened to it. The building had limited flexibility and was easily toppled.

There are many examples of this in martial arts. Consider the Aikido Master. If you try harm someone, and that person doesn't have martial arts training, it is likely you could use their arm as a lever to pull them into your space and do as you wish with them. An Aikido or any other martial arts Master will bend like the willow with, not against the force being exerted against the arm, allow themselves to come into the other person's space, find the fulcrum point of the outward flow of their energy and turn that force against the attacker, while freeing their arm. The Master is in control, because s/he is the most flexible in this situation - not only in body, but in accumulation of learning and experience.

The lesser trained or experienced person on the other hand, lacks the flexibility of the Master and controls less of their destiny in a contentious situation.

It doesn't matter to the willow tree which way the wind blows it. It is happy to be blown to the right as well as to the left. Similarly, the person in a relationship who has decided that their life is going to be a happy one, no matter what, is just as okay with their spouse making a key decision or they themselves making that decision They will be happy no matter what decision is made, and have doubtless formed many ways of dealing with stress that makes them more impervious to its effects.

Such a person is more flexible and easily controls the way they feel day to day, than one who stubbornly holds out for Choice A or B and who feels miserable if their choice is not adopted.

I hope this helps, in a roundabout way to aid your understanding of "The Element that is the most flexible is the element in control"

Sometimes the control in question is over only oneself, at other times it may be over a large and complex situation, relationship or event. Retaining and teaching our clients flexibility is one of the largest pieces of good we can do them and ourselves both.

In this instance, Meditation, Yoga (I favor Yin Yoga practice instead of a stronger form for those just learning the Art Of Flexibility, or in addition to a yang style such as Hatha, Bikram or Ashtanga, to help balance the body), Tai Chi, Aikido, Chi Gung or any other martial or meditational art where practice also includes mental calming and stilling exercises, is in my experience, the best way to accomplish such flexibility...to keep the body and mind flexible, limber and serene. smile

Posted by Maryam on February 5, 2007 at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

February 01, 2007

Bringing Personal Peace to someone 3,000 miles away

Periodically I like to bring in some of Gary Craig's excellent articles and blog posts from his EFT Blog. Several clients this week have had emotional situations with people either "many miles in the past" or far away across several states or continents, so the idea of surrogate work is particularly appropriate. This article is an excellent illustration of how the "power of personal peace" can not only be yours, but also be brought to those not present. Reproduced with permission from:

The EFT Blog...
by Gary Craig


Here's an EFT case that produced major benefits for two people ... even though only one of them was present.  It involves creative applications of EFT as well as a fascinating version of surrogate healing.  The implications are staggering.

Betty was like a dormant rosebud whose flower remained unopened for years.  This bright, attractive, 40ish lady had many inspiring dreams.  However, her critical mother put a lid on every one of them by saying things like...

"Why on earth would you want to do that?"
"Only lazy people go down that road?"
"Can't you find something more responsible to do?

Betty and I aimed EFT at her response to this torrent of disapprovals and did, indeed, make progress.  However, her family dynamics were such that, when she returned home, mother would still be frequently "in her face" with repeated put downs.  This, of course, would dilute our work and thus I suggested another EFT avenue.

"Why don't we do a session where you become your mother?", I said.  "That way you can gain some insights into your mother's disposition ... AND ... some of her insecurities, angers and other emotions might be resolved surrogately.  Who knows, maybe she will actually develop some softer behaviors toward your pursuits."

Betty agreed and so she sat in a different chair and I applied EFT to her as though she was her own mother.  I explored areas such as mother's...

Childhood
Beliefs
Rejections
Limits
And so on.

We spent an hour doing EFT on these issues and, as a result, Betty gained a deeper understanding of her mother's need to belittle her.  Betty's demeanor softened and she radiated a more peaceful inner being.

This is always delightful to behold, of course. But how would this affect mother?  After all, mother was 3,000 miles away and had no idea this session was occurring.  Could this form of surrogate work actually relieve some of mother's own issues so that a softer, more forgiving presence would be hers to enjoy?

The answer came 3 months later when I spoke with Betty again.  As it turns out, mother stopped belittling Betty instantly and, instead, would ask her gentle, supporting questions about her pursuits.  In Betty's terms, "It was a complete flip and the only thing that could explain it was our surrogate session."

All we did was make some logical presumptions about mother's unnecessary emotional burden and applied EFT to them. We also borrowed from our well established experience with surrogate EFT (tapping for someone else) and the result was a greatly relieved and socially transformed mother.  Betty's life was improved as well.

I've seen this type of result before but thought this time I would beat the drum a bit for it.  The potential here is enormous.  It offers an opportunity to bring peace to others across vast distances.  We could do this for loved ones in other parts of the world; for friends who may be in distress; for world leaders to soften their stance on war; for athletes who need to sharpen their performance while on the field; for trauma victims; for our children while they are at school and so on.

Oh my!

I hope this hits you where it counts.  How much good could you do with this idea? How much suffering could you end? How many lives could you shift forever?

Peace, Gary

PS:  An often asked question is "Do I need permission to do this for someone else?"  That's a personal choice, of course, but I suggest that permission isn't necessary.  Reasons are given on our website in my article entitled, Can we do EFT surrogately or through intention? If so, do we need permission?

PPS:  All the basics of EFT can be learned for free by Downloading the EFT Manual

 

Posted by Maryam on February 1, 2007 at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

January 29, 2007

Why Coaches & Therapists Don't Have More Clients

Dave, thanks for your kind comments on the previous post - glad you liked the exercise!  ;-)

Baya, responding to your comment too about being unwilling to spend "that much money" on your business. I'm not so much concerned about you spending money or not, but in the general mindset indicated by your comment. It goes into a piece of "wrong thinking" that coaches and therapists tend to have internalized that GREATLY hinders their success.  And I speak from experience, having been there myself many years ago...

If you have a business, a passion and are doing something that is WORTH DOING IN THE WORLD...then no amount of money is "too much to spend" on getting that business as successful and profitable for you as it can be. Would you say the same about a needed hospital procedure ("sorry, I don't think that kidney looks like it's worth $25,000, even if I do need it..."), or an absolutely imperative need in your child's life ("looks like math tutoring will cost too much, even if you are flunking out of school")?

Value your business like a child, for it is. Whether you have flesh and blood children or not, your business is the one thing you can parent and completely shape the growth of. The one vehicle that will absolutely express your unique values and Mission in the world.

Would you spend $399 to make $3,999,999? Of course you would! That's called making an investment. It's a fact that you have to spend money to make money (and if you don't know this yet, ask your financial advisor or banker - they'll tell you the same). Investing in your business is one of the thing you absolutely cannot NOT do if you want to be successful.

Go look at some of the other programs most therapists ahd coaches invest in that you could be taking: gmarketing.com ($2500), bookyourselfsolid.com ($2800), getclientsnow.com ($1900) and so on. This is the "starter level", and each and every one is an excellent business development and marketing program. I know, I've taken them.

It's a fair bet if you're not choosing to take these courses, that like many just starting out, you're not made of money...BUT YOU CAN BE. Really.  (oh yeah, a whole LOTTA tapping here...)

You are going to get out of your business exactly what you put into it. If you don't care enough to invest in its ultimate profitability, that, according to the Law of Attraction, is energy you are also sending out to potential clients. It says you don't care enough to make your business tight and solid, so why should they trust you to help them get their act together? It basically says "stay away" - which is a BIG reason you’re not seeing the kind of clients or numbers of clients that you want.

It's just a little shift to make, from Poverty consciousness to Abundance (the fantastic Kim George will be teaching us about that in the TKC Program) but it's one that is Absolutely Imperative - or your business will sink as if mired in quicksand.

Whether with us or with someone else - please get the kind of marketing training that your business needs and DESERVES to make it an astounding success. It can be, I am certain of it.

You also asked if this forum would continue to be open to ask questions. While I do indeed welcome dialogue, my blog isn’t a forum in that sense. My expertise like yours, is a product that I sell. I'd be a poor teacher indeed, if I gave away any more of it than I already have in the free "7 Mistakes" ecourse, intro teleclass and articles here!

If you appreciate the value you've gotten and want to access further expertise in this area, you will need to pay for the product, just as you'd ask your clients to pay you. That’s the way a profitable business works. There are many programs out there for you to access, ours is just one.

We'd absolutely love to have you join us if you decide our program is right for you. You can still enroll here at: http://taokaching.com 

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

Posted by Maryam on January 29, 2007 at 11:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Questions About Tao of Ka-Ching Intro

We had a great time on the Tao of Ka-Ching Intro Class today. If you didn't get a chance to listen to it, the replay is available on our Tao of Ka-Ching website, here:

http://taokaching.com

And now, to answer a Very Important Question that came up on the call:

Baya, on the call from the U.K. mentioned her overwhelm at the bewildering array of different things to do to boost her business and increase pro.fits. She's already spending most of her time working, but says she would need several days to study a tool like Google Adsense, for example. She concludes with "..in the meanwhile, I am not making any money! I am lucky because I have a good practise but would like to expand it much more"

Baya, I regret we didn't have the time to go into this on the call - I wish we'd had another hour!

We'll definitely go WAY DEEP into this problem in the Tao of Ka-Ching class experience. But since this is such a WIDESPREAD problem, I'd like to give a bit more of an answer here. I don't know your business or you, but I'm glad to meet you. :-)  I'd venture to say however, that you don't have a solid foundation to your business, or that your foundation has changed significantly since you formulated your first business plan.

When I say business foundation I mean:

  • You know exactly what your business vision, mission and purpose is, you know exactly what you offer and who you serve and exactly how you do that.
  • You know who your ideal client is and you work with NO ONE but that kind of person.
  • You have the granularity of your business down pat and have no suprises or sudden emergencies you can't handle immediately because you have protocols put into place.
  • Your business operations manual not only exists, but is up to date.
  • You don't waste time, ever. And you have at least one employee hired on at least a part time basis to take care of the busy work and mundanities, so you can concentrate ONLY on doing what you love.

That sound familiar? Have all this under control? No? Then it's no suprise that you find yourself with little time and overwhelmed by all the options. Even if you work a day job, you can still  manage your time and create even more time than you think you have! And knowledge of the fundamental business elements above will let you know, instantly, what you need in terms of classes, resources and so-on to improve your business. With this knowledge you won't be jumping on every bandwagon that rolls by, you'll know which opportunities are a unique fit for your business.

Here's some homwork for you Baya, and everyone else who has the same problem, straight from the Tao of Ka-Ching Homework archives - a little sneak peek for you!

It's not going to be the most exciting thing you do all week, but you will get a very GOOD idea of where your time is going by completing this homework assignment. This is the first step in creating *more* time. And it's this: document every FIFTEEN minutes through your waking day, for a week. You can do this simply by making a grid with every fifteen minute increment marked out from the time you wake up until bedtime (yep, bedtime). And yep, fifteen minutes. Twenty is too much, you can switch activities several times even in as low as the fifteen minute increment. So you'll have  four opportunities an hour to make a real quick note of what you're doing, and choose to do something different...if you want.

Use a shorthand system to mark the grid, such as "W" for work related activities, "F" for family time, "P" for scheduled personal time such as grooming, meditation, yoga, etc, "E" for exercise,  "R" for "recreation" such as reading non-work related material, non-work related web surfing, online gaming, television watching, going out for activities, "M" for miscellaneous - anything that doesn't fit elsewhere. Make a small note on what you're doing in each square of the grid. As the squares start to add up, you're going to begin to see where the extra time in your day is hiding. 

This may not be as exciting as just floating through your day unencumbered, but remember that you're like a sniffer dog on the trail of extra time. It's there, it's just doing a clever job of disguising itself among other activities. Sniff it out! Rebelling against the idea of documenting your days? That's just fear inside you talking. This is usually fear of success (if you don't identify as successful yet, there's definitely fear there), fear of losing something you value through being more scheduled...the possibilities are as many as there are human beings out there.

Deal with this rebellion-disguised-as-fear using your favorite energy therapy method: EFT, ZPoint Process, TAT, BSFF or others.

There's more to getting ahold of your time and knowing what to invest it in, that we will deal with in the Tao of Ka-Ching 90 Day Program. Try this exercise though - you'll really get a LOT out of it!

Remember - you can grab the "Extended Earlybird" price on the Tao of Ka-Ching Program for the next 24 hours. After 6pm Eastern on Tuesday Jan 30th, the bird flies off forever again! Check the program out here: http://taokaching.com  Then Grab The EarlyBird, here:

http://snipurl.com/TKCspecial

Posted by Maryam on January 29, 2007 at 03:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

January 19, 2007

Easy Bake Weblogs Starts Monday 1/22!

Ezbw_180_x_150 Hey folks! I wanted to let you know that Tao Of Ka-Ching Adjunct Faculty member Andy Wibbels is giving his most amazing "Easy Bake Weblogs" class starting next week. This is the course that started me and many other coaches out blogging for our businesses and heck, just for fun. I can't tell you how many business connections I've made since EasyBake, so if you're looking to get started, this would be the class.

Go ahead and click here:  Easy Bake Weblogs to see what this is all about and why you NEED a blog to max your business potential. Or, keep reading to check out what you get:

EasyBake Is...

  • A 4 part course with Andy Wibbels with 4 weekly 1-hour calls.
  • Includes webcast.
  • All calls are recorded. Audio archives from previous runs of the course are also available.
  • Library of tutorials and Flash demos.
  • Instant,
    anywhere, lifetime access. Archives are available forever from any
    internet connection on any browser. Free registration for future runs
    of the course.
  • 60-day money back guarantee.

Main points covered:

  • Creating your first blog (on your TypePad blog)
  • Customizing your blog to suit your business
  • Techniques for maximizing your business blog

Plus which I can tell you that it's an awful lot of fun. And if you don't know Andy yet, he's a hoot! The thing I like is that you can keep on coming back again and again for life if you want. Andy's always there to answer a question, and the Easy Bake community is really supportive. Easy Bake Weblogs for all your blogging needs!

Posted by Maryam on January 19, 2007 at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

January 17, 2007

Can You Build A Big $$$ Grossing Practice Using...???

Tkcbanner3

In our ramp-up to the Tao Of Ka-Ching Service Business Maximizer Program, I'm answering questions from therapists and coaches who NEED TO KNOW how to build high grossing businesses. Sara U. asks the following two "Burning Questions" and I'm answering them.

Now, Sara's first question:

"Can you honestly get a big clientele using the term energy psychology or energy coaching?  Isn't this too "far out" sounding to the common "man?"  Is it better to have this as a part of a regular coaching practice and bring it out when a person seems open to it?"

My reply:
Personally Sara, I wouldn't use the term Energy Coaching (or psychology) in your advertising except as an addendum. You see, consumers just don't care. They don't care where you went to school, how long you worked on your grad thesis, what techniques you use or anything about you personally. What the prospective client cares the most about is "can this person help me with my problem?" and sometimes "can they do it faster than Method X, which I used for a year to no avail?"

Jargon generally speaking will not hook clients and make them want to know more about you or to hire you. They want to see from your advertising: "how fast and how well can you help me fix my problem?". So concentrate on that. Choose a population that really jazzes you to work with and concentrate your advertising on the problem or problems that they have.

I wouldn't hide what you do however because Energy Coaching or Psychology might be your primary mode and you definitely want to acknowledge that. And too, once people come to know what it is, they will come to highly value it. You can certainly create mystique around your business by using the term Energy Psychology or Energy Coaching which will cause people to ask about what this is. This gives you an opportunity to educate and introduce the topic before they even come into your practice.

Personally, I don't want to see clients who aren't savvy to Energy Coaching or at least willing to give it a go. That is one of my Primary Client Filters. We're teaching more about this in the Tao of Ka-Ching Program. If you don't have good Client Filters, you could waste a lot of time and leave a lot of money on the table. Savvy coaches and therapists know who to take as clients and who not to, and max their earning potential by advertising only to the client's problems and your ability to help them out.

One thing that advertising with Energy Coaching or therapy has in its favor, is that clients can easily learn the techniques and enhance their personal development between visits and also address traumas inline, in the client's everyday life. This is tremendously attractive to just about anyone!

I would rather go to someone who had the clinical expertise plus cutting edge technqiues that can help MY particular problem I'm seeking help for - wouldn't you?

So in summary, a combination of advertising HIGHLIGHTING your expertise and success rate in handling a particular problem for a particular population PLUS mentioning that energy therapies can drastically reduce time spent dealing with the problem is best.

An example from the Tao of Ka-Ching Program:  "We help coaches and therapists who aren't making enough money and have clients that try their patience, learn how to fill their practices with clients they adore, plus make enough money to live on, have vacations, and save for retirement."

That's specific, and to a very unique target audience. Further:

"We'll help you bust your blockages to abundance with cutting edge energy changework methods you can learn and practice easily on your own."

This puts the energy therapy in the picture but highlights it against the *result* the client wants to see, coupled with ease of use. See how this works? No jargon, no confusing acronyms, just speaks to the problem and how quick and simple the answer is.

Try it! And let me know how you do - you can make a comment on this below, if you like.

Sara also asks:

"I strongly believe that people who were severely traumatized in early life need a corrective human connection in order to heal and deal with what is "saved" in their psyche until they are with that person. I also believe that trauma buries itself in our bodies and some of it cannot be touched by anything BUT energy pscyhology techniques.  My question is this:  Can it be damaging to a person to do the energy psychology techniques before they even have brought up the trauma and without having first established that human connection?"


Sara, this is an immensely personal question and I would say that any answer to it would be on a case-by-case basis only. Having said that, many laypeople begin using EFT, TAT or ZPoint on their own with fabulous results. If a person is socially introverted because of their traumas, a period of psychological transferrence could be extremely therapeutic, I agree. But whether or not the person receives this or not, it is my clinical judgement that in most cases, self-application of Energy Psychology methods (preferably under skilled guidance) cannot hurt and in most cases again, will help to some degree.

Caveats to this: The person must be able to apply the methods consistently and in the correct manner. Most who come across the various energy psychology methods do so on a lay basis, and not through a qualified practitioner. Therefore, if the person is practicing the method incorrectly, they could experience diminished effectiveness and conclude the methods don't work, abanadoning them before they have had a chance to become effective.

Hope this helps!
 
 

Posted by Maryam on January 17, 2007 at 11:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

January 06, 2007

Need More Clients/Profits/Time/Sanity? GET YOUR BUNS IN HERE!

First of all, if you're in a private practice service business (Coaches, therapists, acupuncturists, chiropracters, etc.) and you've not got enough clients, are not getting enough profits or just flat need help to construct, market, take advantage of technology for your business and get off the rat-wheel, you're going to want into Betsy's and my :

Tao of Ka-Ching! Private Practice Business Maximizer Program

We're going to teach you not only how to get clients, but how to monetize that business of yours out the wazoo in ways you never heard of, but work well and are in many cases, cheap to free. And take a load off your feet, head and bottom, by getting the stress out and having your personal development path work FOR you, as a business Builder. (oo, intrigued yet?)

Get yourself on over to: http://taokaching.com and sign up for our FREE eCourse: "The Seven DEADLY MISTAKES Service Professionals Make in Business (And How To Avoid Them)" This is a completely free, no-obligation course delivered through email and it will point up some stuff I bet you haven't thought about that's leeching money, time and sanity out of your business like crazy. We'll teach you a little bit about how to plug those leaks in the eCourse and much more in the Program.

Go ahead and sign up right now.  No risk, we promise!  Go on, I'll wait....

Back? Excellent! Don't forget to check your email and click through on the "opt-in" email you'll get from me. Then the lessons will start flying into your box!

Second, click on the "Experts" link at http://taokaching.com and see just a few of the private practice marketing bigwigs we'll be bringing in to teach you their special areas of expertise. There's Lynnea on making a tight Business Plan, Suzanne on building your Expert Platform, Andy on the new cheap-to-free Technologies to Build your Business, Kim on allowing Abundance, Krishna on building your unique personal Brand, Wayne talking about On Air Publicity and more, much more....!

Third, ENROLL NOW because on January 20th the price goes up quite a bit. We're  throwing an introductory price for the WHOLE 90 -day extravaganza that is so low we ought to have our heads examined...but we wanted to make it easy for the most people to attend. Again, that would all be at:

http://taokaching.com 

Fourth...can't take the class on Mondays at 9am Pacific / 12noon Eastern Feb - April??? That's okay, sign up anyway! We have several people from the darkside of the planet taking the class by listening to the class audios in our state-of-the-art eCampus in their daytime, while we're snoozing away. They'll be posting to our class forums like maniacs and we'll all keep in touch that way.

While we'd love to have you BE in class, this isn't a certification, so the only thing you have to be there for in person is your mastermind group. This  you'll arrange times for on your own, and hence can work around your own schedule. It becomes this incredibly supportive, tight-knit little community that is all geared towards making YOUR business a complete success..while you do the same for others.

(Oh yeah, you'll increase your network exponentially in this Program)

Fifth...what? You're still here? Get your booty on over to http://taokaching.com and sign up for that FREE eCourse! And think real hard about cashing in on our drastically low introductory enrollment. Once January 20th hits the decks, it'll be gone forever.

Get going! I'm looking forward to helping YOU maximize your service business's potential in February!

Posted by Maryam on January 6, 2007 at 01:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

December 19, 2006

Daily Practice is "How We Get To The Tipping Point"

This just in from one of my readers:
"How do we get to the tipping point where we live our new perspective without regressing to our old  viewpoints and strategies?"
- Peter H.

It's a great question Peter, thanks for asking. And I don't think there has been a one of us who have not at some point in our path (or many points) wondered "when the heck is all this work I've been doing on myself gonna kick in without a whole lot of work to keep it from backsliding?"

The quick answer is: by having a daily practice and sticking to it even when we don't stick to it. Fall off the Path and climb back on again as soon as we remember the Path is there. Don't beat ourselves up for falling off, just take that as a golden opportunity to become even more Conscious and Aware.

We all need to get that there is no one-shot magic pill that you take once and BOOM! New life assured for all time. Nope, doesn't work that way. According to standard psychological measures, anything we wish to make a habit takes a minimum of thirty days continuous practice to put into longterm memory. And as far as I've found, that's just the beginning - what you have to do to get it into your consciousness again and again on a daily basis. Doesn't mean you're "home free" by a long shot though.

If you really want to make a new change hold every day, then DO IT every day. If that means having a new viewpoint, then use your favorite energy therapy method to install that viewpoint, again and again, every day. Meditate on what you want as a sacred practice.

Ghandi said: "Be the change you wish to see in the world". And as you live that change, keep checking to see what the strength of the new viewpoint is (or whatever your new perspective might have you do, be or have) before you practice. If not 100% - even 110%, then you still need to practice. If you find yourself slipping, you still need to practice.

Will the need to practice ever stop? Probably. In time you'll find these things you want are engrained, like creases in old leather into the fabric of your life. Remember when you first learned a skill like driving a car? In the beginning, for the first year or so, it was a tricky operation coordinating many parts at once. You may have broken a sweat just thinking about all there was to coordinate. A few years later, you're an old pro, with no need to run through that mental checklist you probably had when you first started out.

When you can smile about the thing you practiced over and it is no longer a stressor but a part of you, then it is time to let that thing go and replace it with another....or not, as you choose. 

But do get used to the idea that practice is a daily thing. Just like brushing your teeth. In fact, that's a great time to do this kind of practice. When you get up in the morning and head into the bathroom - rejoice! You've got five or ten minutes, brushing, shaving and so on, that you can also engage in practice and meditation on the kind of person you want to be this day.

Even the Dalai Lama, experienced monk and meditator that he is, says that he deeply values his daily practice. Not because he fears backsliding, but because it reminds him of who he wants to be and indeed...who he *is*.  Over and over, daily practice. His state of being as ours, is reinforced by daily practice.

And when I speak of practice, this is not a religious thing, but the act of recreating anew each day the world you want to live in, beginning with the only thing in it that you can change: yourself.

We all want the magic pill, the "one shining moment that changes everything forever". And we do have those moments, but to use the zen saying, "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightement, chop wood, carry water." It's the same with installing, living and being from a new perspective.

Have a stellar day Peter, thanks for this question!

Posted by Maryam on December 19, 2006 at 02:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)